well, okay, you could overplay how old he is to where she thinks he’s like, middle-aged, then let her down easy with the truth
i kinda followed the whole ‘letting her down easy thing’ - i broke the age to her and then said that he had shitloads of antisemitic tattoos on his face and a motorbike.
PROFIT.

mrsdwightkschrute:

realest shit ever.

"mature" "experienced" "knowledgeable" "worldly"
I agree with the teacup :/ Alternatively, a leading sentence like ‘for his age he’s so innocent!’… and lead in from there?
LOL
Oh my god guys just. No.

"So mom. this guy.. he’s… experienced"
"Well as long as you’re using protection…"
melgibsonsjesus answered your question:aaaaaaaaaaaaaargh
you’re on your own. but also… high five.
you’re dead to me back at you!

tormentedfantasy:

caleia:

sometimes im really excited about things and i want to tell everyone but then i remember nobody cares and i just sit there like

image

to tell or not to tell

This is me on so many levels.

REBLOG | Posted 3 hours ago With 504,366 notes + Ori. Via
tags: #gpoy
» aaaaaaaaaaaaaargh

how to slip into casual conversation with my parents that the new guy is 13 years my senior…?!!?

stigmartyr762:

transcendingdiimensions:

almostnormalboy:

mushaka:

santosha65:

This incredible photo marks the end of Matador Torero Alvaro Munera’s career. He collapsed in remorse mid-fight when he realized he was having to prompt this otherwise gentle beast to fight. He went on to become an avid opponent of bullfights. Even grievously wounded by picadors, he did not attack this man.

Torrero Munera is quoted as saying of this moment: “And suddenly, I looked at the bull. He had this innocence that all animals have in their eyes, and he looked at me with this pleading. It was like a cry for justice, deep down inside of me. I describe it as being like a prayer - because if one confesses, it is hoped, that one is forgiven. I felt like the worst shit on earth.”

I’ve reblogged this at least two other times but this is possibly one of my favorite photos ever.

The bull is just like ‘hey r u ok?’ it’s so powerful

I’m going to cry :c

This is a practice that needs to end.

lilcabinet:

George Osborne: Most Influential Londoner

greyjoying:

possibly my fave quote from all the alastair campbell diaries is just after peter mandelson’s second resignation where he just writes "Peter Hain said I must get Tony to look a little less like his child had been run over by a bus"

Omfg your new name…

I was like ‘who the fuck is that ripping off coneshotline?!’ And THEN I KNEW.

I feel like The Bone should make an appearance…

I AM OFF TO GO CAMPING MOTHERFUCKERS SO IF I NEVER UPDATE AGAIN IT’S BECAUSE I FROZE TO DEATH.

fattributes:

Candy Corn Jell-O Shots

Why is Peter Mandelson evil?
Anonymous

:O

He’s not evil
Just misunderstood…

image

thecoppercow:

imaginonsensemble:

Amazing.

John Prescott has grown sassier with old age.

Well thank god for that ….

*eyeroll*