Toast Messenger by Sasha Tseng
Honestly, I would just use this to make the most passive aggressive sandwiches
i would write the usernames of tumblr people that make me mad and then eat them
WOULD YOU CALL THESE…
the fact that someone named Sasha invented this doesn’t surprise me
That toast is the thickest slice of goddamn toast I’ve ever seen
If you don’t understand why people don’t like the big bang theory, once in an episode the cast was at a comic store browsing and a woman walked in, and one of the leads said “Is she lost?” and that was the joke.
» how to identify “boy” clothes and “girl” clothes
are you a boy? your clothes are boy clothes.
are you a girl? your clothes are girl clothes.
are you outside the binary of boy and girl? so are your clothes.
did someone just tell you your clothes don’t match your gender identity? they are a trashcan and their clothes are trashcan clothes.
#someone should start a cunt cake business
It’s not much, but it’s a start
I’m guessing it’s a niche market, but it’d be done out of love
I once made one….
i didn’t get the dimensions right but whatevs
he does such a good sad face
that’s just his regular face
how many times has you seen ed balls?
Lollll he walked right past me in a hotel hallway once at the labour conference and I freaked
and then I stalked him for about 3 minutes until my friend realised how fucked up that was and stopped me….
y’all guys go crazy for celebrities but the real excitement is found in politicians and don’t deny it
I still kick myself over the fact that I didn’t get a grip fast enough to ask for a photo/autograph before he swept past
So at work today our Tory mayor came in
Then an hour later the Tory MP came in to talk about how great “our chancellor” was and that businesses were flourishing due to his amazingness and my manager was pissing herself laughing because silly MP was talking to me and I was just no
and excuse me but you’d better use some of that taxpayer’s money to buy yourself a goddamn coffee and croissant from me if you want me to listen to your goddamn rambling bullshit.. Or at the very least let me meet “our chancellor”
HAHAHA HOLY SHIT WE WERE LOOKING AT PICTURES OF SURGERIES IN CLASS AND ALL THE GUYS WERE HOOTING AT THE SLICED BREAST ONES AND THEN THE TEACHER SWITCHED TO A PENIS PIC WHERE IT WAS CUT OPEN AND SOME 300LB JOCK DOUCHEBAG FAINTED RIGHT OUT OF HIS CHAIR BOYS ARE WEAK BOYS ARE FUCKING WEAK
Jacob Rees-Mogg: There are some Commonwealth countries where one can be imprisoned for a year for some quite extraordinary things. I do not know whether you knew, Mr Deputy Speaker, but if you should go on your travels to Singapore representing the Houses of Parliament, which would be a worthy trip for you to make, although Singapore is a great and civilised country—I am one of Lee Kuan Yew’s foremost admirers—it is illegal to connect to an unsecured wi-fi hot spot. It is classed as “unauthorised use of computer service”, it is punishable, for both Singapore nationals and tourists, by a fine of up to 10,000 Singapore dollars and/or imprisonment for up to three years. In 2006, a man called Garyl Tan Jia Luo received 18 months’ probation, nine months’ curfew, 80 hours of community service and an 18-month internet ban for use of an unsecured wi-fi hot spot.
<b> Let us think of some young peer who travels to Singapore and accidentally connects to the wi-fi because he wants to read Hansard to find out what has been going on in their lordships’ house or attend to other matters of public business.</b> If he is caught by the Singaporean police and if we accept judgments of foreign courts he could get three years in prison and be disqualified from the House of Lords.
[...] Breaking obscure laws that it is unreasonable to expect people to have knowledge of ought not to exclude people from the House of Lords. Uganda has been in the news recently for its stringent laws against homosexuality. Are we really to say that peers who end up in Uganda and get into trouble with the law there should be banned from the House of Lords? They could get a life sentence. Is that really a way of deciding who is in a legislature of the United Kingdom? What happens if a lord displays a flag in Kiribati? Someone who displays a flag in Kiribati or wears a uniform in connection with a political object can be sentenced to a year in prison.
[...] There is a tremendously serious point in this. It is that around the world there are hundreds of countries. I have a list of them. Afghanistan; Albania; Algeria; American Samoa; Andorra; Angola; Anguilla; Antigua and Barbuda; Argentina; Armenia; Aruba; Australia; Austria; and Azerbaijan. That just gets us to—
Mr Deputy Speaker: Order. I think we got the message after the first five. I do not want to hear the rest; I think we have a flavour, without a fully detailed world atlas.
Jacob Rees-Mogg: Mr Deputy Speaker, I think you are a mind reader. I was going to read out only the As, so your intervention came at absolutely the right moment to help me to continue.